I am writing this post on the train, during my commute home from work. I could have used the time to relax and read a book, but if I don’t write this now, it will never happen. Over 19 years of parenting (!!!) I have discovered that to be the secret to accomplishing anything as a mother, whether working in an office or home-schooling the kids – do it NOW.
As the workplace has become increasingly mobile, in theory mothering has become easier. If my child is sick, I can log into the VPN and work from home. If I have an important call to a different time zone, I can do it after the kids are asleep. I have joined conference calls from the kitchen, and written reports on the way to teacher-parent meetings.
And yet…..
And yet, this can devolve into a cycle of ever increasing hours, and ever decreasing sleep. During my days as a start-up founder on a shoestring budget, our phone would ring at 2:00am as overseas clients needed tech-support and I would stumble over to our home office to stare groggily at the computer screen. I would also become increasingly frustrated if the children refused to go to bed on time, because their demands for books read, drinks, hot water bottles and yet another snack would eat into the time I planned to use after they went to sleep, for more work.
As parents, we try to set boundaries for our children, yet the huge choice of communication methods available today have made it increasingly difficult to set boundaries on ourselves. And as my mother declares, “Mothers are people too.” We also need downtime, and sufficient sleep. A good book or some other form of me-time doesn’t hurt.
One of the advantages of my current job is that when I leave work, whether working from home or from the office (I am fortunate that my company is tolerant of one day a week working home), I shut down for the day. It may be a long day, but when it’s over I can focus on my family.
The only thing is, that doesn’t leave much time for me. I am writer – it’s how I calm the hundreds of thoughts and ideas that swirl in my head from when I awake until I fall asleep at night. Thoughts that have an annoying habit of niggling at me until I write them down. For over a decade I channeled these ideas into articles and stories as a freelance journalist and author. I had the freedom to write about issues as they surfaced.
Technical Writing is an entirely different genre. It calls for precision, not imagination; uniformity rather than creativity. This form of writing has its own intellectual challenges, and I love my job, but it doesn’t quench my thirst to write “freestyle”.
So I find myself both dreading and looking forward to my commute. On the one hand, it takes me so far from my children and home, and takes so long to get back. On the other hand, if the train isn’t too crowded, it does provide some time for me to do what I want to do without feeling guilty.
HiTech Mother 